Wednesday, June 16, 2010

On Moving, Friendships, and Being "Responsible"

I wrote a long and eloquent entry about how much I missed Zeeland, specifically my friends Angie, Ilonka, Carrie, and - of course - "Opa Claeijs" - but my internet connection disappeared and it was all lost.

The bottom line? Moving is hard and requires much patience; friendships aren't forged overnight. In my case, I know I have to stay strong - for my kids - but a life without true friends... friends that show up when you most need them, walking into your house unannounced, feels empty and shallow. While I'm very fortunate to have a support network established here in Germany, and that the kids are ecstatic to be closer to their Oma & Opa, I feel like I need more.

So there you have it. Not every day here in the Kraft household is bright and sunny. Traveling may be great fun, but moving just plain sucks.

Rather than impulsively traveling to Zeeland today with the dog and the kids, I opted to be responsible. Somebody has to water the plants, bake the cake for Lukas' school party on Sunday, clean the house, etc. But life feels like groundhog day lately. Get up, take the dog jogging, take Lukas to school, take care of things around the house, run a couple errands, get the kids fed, get the kids down for a nap, entertain the kids, get them fed again, get them in the bath and in bed, fall asleep, wake up again at 9:30 pm to water the garden, clean the kitchen, do a bit of writing and catch up on emails, chat with faraway friends, go to sleep after midnight, and repeat.

Only time will tell if this decision is one that I should be proud of, or whether it's a form of "selling out". According to many (including my parents-in-law) it's the right decision, but will it make me happy? And if I'm not happy, is it still possible to be a good mother to my children?

Well on that note, I'm off to prepare dinner. The show must go on...


Jen Pride said...

very interesting and insightful, Liz. I think this move might be more difficult for you because it is a "permanent" move. Life is changing and you have to decide for yourself if that is good or bad - listen to other's opinions, but make your own choice so that you, and your family, are/is happy. You will thrive regardless of your decision because you have a beautiful spirit and engaging personality.

Liz Kraft said...

Thank you, Jen. Once again, your words have inspired me. Less eloquent - but perhaps equally effective - would have been, "Hey, stop feeling sorry for yourself and get on with your incredible new life, woman!" :) Thanks again and hugs from Germany, Liz

Anonymous said...

Dear liz, I understand how you feel, loney..... alone with the boys, all the days are the same. And the kids...sometimes they can drive you crazy....I know it!!! It goes beter when you are travelling or going out! Try to make new friends (try the Cake move! i am sure its works!!!!!!) We miss you too, and think positive! Dikke kus